BEING A NEW MUSLIM IN A FAMILY OF NON-MUSLIMS
at www.CONVERTSTOISLAM.com
Your family may have the wrong ideas about how Islam treats women.
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I think that all the negative propaganda has also contributed to the idea that women in Islam
are treated badly. It has to be said that unfortunately, due to their ignorance, some men do
not treat women well, this bad example then fuels the bad press.
The truth of the matter is that women are treated extremely well in Islam. In fact I would
say that women have life easier than men. The fact is that non-muslims see muslim women in
hijab and they view this as a sign of oppression. The hijab itself is a liberation for
women and in no way at all an oppression.
Here are a few pointers that may inshaAllah help you when educating others in the high
position that women enjoy in Islam:
- A woman in Islam is not trapped by the exploitation that non-muslim women suffer.
Non-muslim women are faced with the daily challenge of wearing what is considered in
fashion, of putting on their makeup to make the best of themselves etc, and all this even
before just popping to the shops. Why do they feel the need to make themselves look good
for the sake of the strangers that they might meet? Muslim women can of course make
themselves beautiful for their husbands and family, but are free from the need to impress
other people. Why are so many goods and services sold in adverts by half clothed women?
Why are selling statistics improved when a women shows flesh? Surely anyone can see the
exploitation here? Woman in non-muslim countries have even become de-sensitized with
regards to this issue that even the women themselves now think it is ok, they cannot even
see how they are being manipulated and used. A muslim woman is far above this exploitation
and in Islam she is protected and respected. The hijab stops strangers from staring at her
size and shape. Men cannot judge a muslim woman by her beauty, cannot categorise or grade
her depending on her figure, and therefore can only form an opinion of her based on her
real self. Being free from the westernized superficial system of oppressive female
exploitation is the true liberation.
- A muslim woman has the right to decide who she wants to marry in Islam. There is
absolutely no forced marriage in Islam.
- Women in Islam are not expected to be slaves to the kitchen! It seems to be the view of
non-muslims that muslim women have to slave away day and night in the kitchen :)
Well, consider this, women are not obliged to do any housework or cooking etc at all.
Islam places no obligation on them in this respect. In fact, a muslim woman is allowed to
demand a 'salary' from her husband for performing such duties. Where do you find this
level of respect for women in the non-muslim world?
- A woman in Islam who works (yes, women are allowed to work) is allowed to spend her
salary in anyway she wishes, as long as it is halal of course. Consider the situation of a
husband who must take full responsibility for providing everything for his wife and family,
including somewhere to live, food, clothes etc. The husband is obligated by Islam to be
the one who provides, whereas the wife may contribute if she wishes, but does not have to.
So the muslim woman has no obligation to work and no obligation to perform household
duties.
- Women in Islam have exactly the same rights as men when it comes to seeking knowledge
and gaining an education. In fact gaining knowledge is mandatory on all Muslims. Islamic
history contains many examples of women who have achieved a great deal in all walks of life.
- Islam gave women rights over 1400 years ago. Think of the history in non-muslim
countries, and the atrocities that women had to go through to get rights. Women in these
non-muslim countries were only considered important enough to vote recently. Women's rights
in England for example were not achieved out of the kindness of men, but were the result of
society needing women to contribute and work, especially during the world wars.
- Centuries before non-muslim countries gave rights to women, Islam had even set out
rights for animals.
- A women in Islam who receives an inheritance is allowed to spend it in any halal way.
Whereas a man needs to also consider his obligations prior to simply going out and
spending.
- Only in the late ninetenth century were English women who married allowed to keep their
property. Prior to this when a woman married, her property became the property of her husband.
In Islam the woman's property is her own property to manage as she wishes.
Now a closer look at the Holy Quran:
In the Holy Quran (4.1):
"O Mankind, keep your duty to your Lord who created you from a single soul and from it
created its mate (of same kind) and from them twain has spread a multitude of men and
women."
In the Holy Quran (7.189):
"He (God) it is who did create you from a single soul and therefrom did create his mate,
that he might dwell with her (in love)..."
In the Holy Quran (42.11):
"The Creator of heavens and earth: He has made for you pairs from among yourselves..."
A woman is completely equated with a man in the sight of God in terms of rights and
responsibilities. Her obligations of daily prayers, fasting, khums, zakat, performing the pilgrimage etc
are all the same as men. In some cases the woman actually has certain advantages over men,
for example the woman does not need to perform her daily prayers during her menstrual periods,
but she still receives the reward as if she has prayed. There are many other 'tender touches'
that Islam has towards women, they are worth reading up about.
In the Holy Quran (74.38):
"Every soul will be (held) in pledge for its deeds"
In the Holy Quran (3.195):
"...So their Lord accepted their prayers, (saying): I will not suffer to be lost the work
of any of you whether male or female. You proceed one from another..."
In the HolyQuran (4.124):
"Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has faith, verily to him We give a new
life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to their
actions."
Islam, with regards to married life has rules that are in accordance with human nature.
Following these rules results in a harmonious relationship between husband and wife alhumdalillah.
With regards to the physiological and psychological make-up of man and woman, both have
equal rights and claims on one another. There is only one exception to this and that is in
the matter of leadership. Leadership is essential in any aspect of life involving more than
one person, and is a matter that is more condusive to the nature of men. Remember, this does
not imply any superiority at all of men over women, and there is no advantage for men in
Islamic law. The leadership role is with regards to the family, and does not allow for any
dictatorship over the wife. Islam stresses the importance of the man taking counsel and
obtaining mutual agreement with his family in decisions.
Remember that the man has full responsibility for providing for his family and looking
after them, this in itself requires that he has some level of leadership in order to
enable him to do what is best for his family.
A lot would agree that a wife has a very privileged position in married life, she can rely
on her husband to provide her with a home and food etc, and also she is cared for and protected
by him.
In the Holy Quran (4.19):
"...But consort with them in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a
thing wherein God has placed much good."
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