BEING A NEW MUSLIM IN A FAMILY OF NON-MUSLIMS
at www.CONVERTSTOISLAM.com
Your parents in particular may feel that they have 'lost' you, and that
you are no longer the same child that they brought up. Perhaps they feel that
you have betrayed them by selecting a different life for yourself.
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As you are now leading your life differently your family may feel that they have 'lost you'.
Also, some families may feel betrayed as you have selected for yourself a new code of life
which may lead them to think that you do not value the code of life that they brought you
up with.
Again, this is likely to be a short term reaction, and one that will quite easily be solved.
With regards to your family feeling they have 'lost you'. It is important that you make an
effort to still be you, still be their son/daughter as well as a muslim. Of course you will
now be living within the rules of Islam, but there will be many areas of your life that you
can continue to share with your family as you did before. You may need to increase your effort,
maybe visit more often, pop round for a cup of coffee with mum more frequently, arrange to
watch the football with dad for example :). Maintain the family ties and make attempts to
improve them. If you live at a distance from your family you can increase the frequency of
your letters, send flowers etc. The small gestures that you make towards your family will go
a long way to reassuring them that they have not lost you.
Also, you could bring some aspects of your new life to your family. Perhaps they would be
interested in accompanying you to the Mosque? Bring round some muslim friends for them to
meet.
Perhaps ask for their help in more matters. This would make them feel more involved and
would reinforce in their minds that you still need them. If you can ask for their help in
matters that are related to religion then all the better. Perhaps someone in your family
can help you make some Islamic clothing? Help you build that bookcase for all your Islamic
books? Help you cook that new halal recipe?
So in the majority of cases this can all be resolved with a little time and effort inshaAllah.
With regards to families who feel that you betrayed them when you selected a different life
for yourself. If appropriate try and reinforce with them that it was due to the very good
way that they brought you up that you wanted to lead a highly moral life. It was all
the good values that they instilled in you that lead you to research religion. Tell them
that you have a lot to thank them for, and you are very grateful for all they have done for
you in the past, and you really want and need their continued help and support in the future.
Perhaps remind them that you will always be there for them, possibly more so now than
before. Again you could refer to the obligations that Islam places on a person with regards
to their family.
You may find it useful to draw upon the similarities between the various religions as
outlined in the green question and answer.
The family is the foundation of Islamic society and the peace and security offered by a
stable family unit is greatly valued. So do what you can to teach this to your family.
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